


The Victim and the Wounded

by orphan_account



Series: Operation: Rescue [2]
Category: DCU
Genre: BDSM, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2017-12-29 12:07:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick and Jason react differently to traumas. But maybe its the different sort of reactions that are compatible with each other.</p><p>This is a sequel to Operation: Rescue and a prequel to Noise. A lot of people were wondering how on earth Dick could go from Operation: Rescue to Noise and this will help bridge that gap. As the fic develops it will also answer some unfinished plot-related questions in Operation: Rescue.</p><p>WARNING: I make no promises to complete this work. I don't have an ending in mind, and if I don't think of one, then there won't be one. Commit at your own risk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is mostly about Jason and setting up his relationship with Dick. In later chapters I'll probably touch a bit more on what actually happened to Jason and Dick in Operation: Rescue, but I can't do much more than gloss over it until they're each ready to deal with it.

He almost didn't go. Because why should he? He wasn't one of Oracle's agents. He wasn't even one of Gotham's heroes. What business did he have running errands for Oracle?

Barbara had promised him it would just be the two of them. Which was probably meant to make him feel like he'd have a measure of control over the situation. Instead it just made him intimidated. Dick was a nice buffer between him and Barbara. Dick was a nice buffer between him and any of them, really. Oracle without Dick around would be like interacting with an icicle, and he assumed the sharp pointy end would be aimed at him.

Jason parked his bike a block away from her building. Maybe it was because he had nothing better to do. Maybe it was because he recognized how desperate she had to be to ask him for a favor. Maybe it was because he sort of a little bit felt like he owed her.

He still wasn't fully committed, however, and decided to sneak his way in, so that at any point, he could change his mind without her knowing he'd ever been here. And he knew that would be a challenge. She probably had every inch of this place covered. She'd been trained by Bruce after all, but so had he.

He was sure he set off a silent alarm or two on his way to her room, but when he stopped in the open doorway, she was staring intently at her computer. She didn't say a word or turn around. But she had to know he was there. It was Oracle, after all.

He walked inside, looked around. Not much to it besides computer screens full of camera feeds and news articles and police reports. He saw a half-finished flash batarang on the coffee table and picked it up. She'd said no one would be here, so had Dick just left?

He walked up behind her and leaned against her chair the way he'd seen Dick do a dozen times, but it didn't end nearly as well for him.

She reached back and grabbed his hair, then threw him to the ground. His head hit the desk on the way there, he dropped the flash-batarang, and it exploded in his face and scorched Barbara's feet.

"Dammit, Jason!"

"Didn't realize you called him here to beat me up," he muttered as he rubbed his eyes. Everything was spotty when he opened them.

"Don't ever sneak up on me like that," she snapped.

"I swear you had to have heard me come in." He blinked rapidly, trying to get his vision back to normal. His head throbbed where it hit the desk. "Do you have an ice pack?" He heard her move away. Then something cold hit him in the face. He grunted his gratitude.

She sighed. "Sorry. I probably should have."

He couldn't see her clearly, but she sounded exhausted, stretched thin. She'd been overworking herself. That was one thing he loved about his life against theirs. He dictated his own hours and never had to pull three all-nighters to get a job done. Though he couldn't imagine why Barb did it to herself. She was Oracle. She could decide on sleep if she wanted to.

"How's the case?" he asked in an attempt to smooth over his earlier mistake.

"Which one." It wasn't even a question. It was exasperation and irritation. Probably not at him so much as the pile of work she had to deal with, but it made him feel unwanted, and subsequently pissed because he was here at her request.

He shrugged. Why not start with the one he was most interested in: "Blacksmith."

"She's back in Keystone."

"She talk yet?"

"Not a word."

Jason frowned. They all knew Blacksmith wasn't smart enough to track down all of their secret identities. Someone had told her. And he wanted nothing more than to put a bullet in that person's brain. But he was becoming increasingly convinced that person was Talia al Ghul, which complicated things. 

It was quiet for a long moment, with Jason still sitting on the floor, ice pack to his face, and Barbara quietly typing.

Finally, Barbara said, quietly, "Dick's not doing well."

Jason looked up at her. Even though she still looked hazy to him, he saw her wipe her eyes.

"What do you mean?"

Jason got to his feet. This time he leaned against the desk as she pulled up her logs of everyone's vitals. Jason was shocked to find himself back on there.

"When did you--"

"That night you stayed at the manor."

"You bitch--"

She slammed her fist down on his hand so hard he yelped and pulled away from the desk entirely.

"That's not what I want to show you, though," she said, like she hadn't just broken his hand.

Jason moved the ice pack from his head to his hand, then back again, unsure which hurt more.

"This is what I wanted to show you." And she pulled up Dick's log over the last month, everything since they'd been kidnapped. There were a few scattered red error messages.

"How do you have an error in vital readings?"

"It's not just his vitals, it's everything. It goes offline. I can't trace him, can't contact him, can't tell if he's even okay--I know how, I just don't know _why_."

"You lost me."

"Dick's hacking my frequencies. Scrambling the signals for a few hours so I can't get a hold of him."

"You can do that?" He was going to have to ask Dick how the details of that worked, because being untraceable by Oracle would be like a godsend.

"And when I ask him about it, he says he's just taking some time off. I was going to ask Tim to talk to him the next time it happens but then I thought--"

She didn't finish. She didn't have to.

Jason was the one who found Dick. Jason was the one who'd been held captive as long as Dick. Jason was probably the only one who could talk to Dick about whatever he was going through.

"Fine. Talking's not really my thing, but I'll see what I can do."

\-----

Jason didn't hear from Oracle for another week. Then she called and said Dick had gone offline on the west end. Jason let out a swear and told her it'd be impossible to find Dick on such short notice, and didn't she think he might have other plans tonight? But she hung up on him. And Jason successfully tracked Dick to a nightclub on the river front. Odd place to disappear to.

Jason scanned the crowd inside with a hard glare. This place was hot, sweaty, crowded, and reeked of sex. 

He hated the fact that he was doing this, and doing it because Barbara asked.

No, that wasn't right. He wasn't doing it for Barb. He was doing it for Dick.

Jason found Dick off to the side, leaning against the bar, drink in his hand. Dick was wearing tight black pants and a low v-neck. It was nothing flashy, but it left nothing hidden either.

He slipped through the crowd and stood next to Dick. Dick looked like he wanted to jump out of his own skin when he saw Jason, but it was only a split second before his usual calm front took back over.

"What are you doing here?" Jason asked. He had to lean in close, press his lips against Dick's ear, just to be heard over the music.

"Same as you," Dick answered quickly.

"I doubt it."

"Working a case."

"Really? Forget to tell Oracle?" This time when he leaned in, he slipped a small bug onto the hem of Dick's shirt. Because if Dick wasn't going to be honest with him, well he'd just have to get the truth out of him secretly. And it said a lot about Dick's state of mind that he didn't even seem to notice.

Dick licked his lips. "Why she'd send you and not Tim?"

"Timmy's not 21."

Dick's hand tightened around his glass. "Alright, fine. I'm not working a case."

Jason folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the bar. "So what are you doing?" he shouted over the music.

Dick didn't answer. He just took a sip of his drink.

Jason wasn't in a very patient mood. Not that he was very patient to begin with, but tonight he was already pissed off and in a place he didn't want to be and doing something he didn't want to be doing. He didn't have time to sit around and wait for Dick. If Dick didn't want to talk, fine. There were better ways to do detective work than talking.

He left the bar and got a few steps into the crowd. He glanced back just in time to see a woman approach Dick.

She was wearing thigh-high black leather boots, heeled. A corset that not only pushed up her breasts but looked like she'd stuffed it as well. Her skirt clung to her ass which Jason thought was rather flat in itself. Her makeup was a lot of dark lines and her hair was a bright red. It looked synthetic.

She leaned over and said something to Dick. Jason could've switched the bug on, but he doubted he'd hear anything but the club's music. Dick looked at the woman, then glanced through the crowd. Jason was careful to slip out of sight. When he looked back at Dick, the woman was leading Dick away, through the crowd, and into a side door. Jason slipped after them, and told himself it was because he was concerned about Dick.

The side door opened up into a hallway, and he heard a door at the far end click shut. He'd just missed them--which was fine, because he definitely didn't want Dick to see him. And then he heard the handle on the door beside him turn.

He quickly darted into the room next to the one Dick had disappeared behind, and was shocked at what he found. A handful of chairs, a couple of men and a woman. And all of them watching a two-way mirror looking right into the room with Dick and the red-haired girl. They glanced at him briefly, but didn't say anything. The woman leaned against one of the men and smiled at Jason, then turned her attention to the window on the other room.

The room Dick was in had a bed and a shelf lined with sex toys. The room Jason was in was obviously made for observers. Some sort of private show he'd stumbled onto. He chewed on his lower lip.

If this was what Dick was here for, it was none of his business, and it was none of Barbara's. He should leave.

But he didn't move.

He slipped his hand into his jacket pocket and switched the bug on.

The woman's voice carried straight to Jason's ear: "Take off your shoes and your socks." It was cold and commanding, and triggered a host of memories that made Jason's throat go dry and want to run as far as his legs could carry him.

But he swallowed hard and stood his ground, eyes locked on the room in front of him. Dick obeyed the woman. Everything about his body language screamed submission and Jason was surprised to find how attractive that alone was.

"Your shirt," she said.

Jason bit down on his tongue. Was he about to lose his bug?

Dick gripped the hem of his shirt with both hands crossed and pulled upward. But he only got it off of his chest, was just about to pull it over his head when the woman quickly said, "Stop." And she stepped behind him.

Jason's palms started to sweat inside his jacket pocket. He shouldn't be turned on right now. Not to Dick, and not to Dick with his arms over his head, face covered by his shirt, and toned chest exposed for anyone in this room to see.

It didn't help that he could hear every breath that passed Dick's lips with the hem so close to Dick's face. He heard the hitch in Dick's breath when the woman's hands ghosted over his abdomen and up to his chest. He heard Dick whine when the woman pressed her fingernail into the sensitive skin around Dick's nipple.

Then she took her hands off Dick and Jason heard her say, "Continue," in that same commanding voice as before. Dick pulled his shirt off and Jason had to bite down on his lip when he saw Dick's red face, eyes on the floor, hands fidgeting at his side--ah fuck.

And then the woman slid her hands back around Dick's waist, ran her fingernails up over his hips, leaving sharp red trails behind, visible even on Dick's dark Romani skin.

And as she pressed her lips to the back of Dick's neck, and Dick tipped his head compliantly, something else burned in Jason's stomach. Something not quite like desire, but not too far from it.

It was jealousy, plain and simple. He wanted to be the one leaving those marks on Dick. He wanted to be the one Dick undressed for and went limp for and blushed for. Who the hell was this woman and why did she get to run her hands all over Dick? And why the hell did this audience get to be a part of it?

He wanted Dick in dark corners, behind locked doors, in secret gardens and passageways. He wanted make Dick to tremble and blush and--

Oh God, it was muffled now that the shirt was on the floor, but he could still hear Dick mewl like some sort of helpless kitten as the woman tugged on his ear with her teeth.

Dick tipped his head back, supporting it on her shoulder like he could no longer hold it up himself, and the woman ran her hands back down to his hips and tugged at his belt. "Stay still," she said.

Jason thought again that he should leave, but his body refused to move.

She didn't pull his pants all the way off. Just about halfway down his thighs. Jason couldn't pull his eyes off of that bulge that was pushing against Dick's black briefs. He licked his lips unconsciously.

She rubbed her hand over the bulge, once, twice, and the third time Dick whined and squirmed, bucking up into her hand.

She didn't like that. She put her hands on either side of his hips firmly, forcing him to stand still. She rolled down the waist band of his briefs, just enough so that his cock popped out. Then she snapped the waistband over his balls and he whimpered, but didn't move otherwise. Then she turned him sideways, so Jason--and the audience--could see his cock erect in full profile. She slipped the back of his briefs down to expose Dick's ass. 

Jason always knew Dick had a great ass, but seeing it like this was different. Different in a way that made him want to touch it and spread it and--

The woman smacked the palm of her hand against Dick's ass and Jason heard him yelp, but he stayed standing perfectly still. Jason felt his own body shudder with the second spank as Dick's cock curled in response.

For a third time, as the third smack came down, Jason thought he should leave. But when there was a fourth, and then a fifth, and Dick was gasping and looked ready to cry, Jason realized something was wrong.

Jason knew enough about BDSM to know how a scene worked. He'd done it once or twice experimentally, but he'd never gotten into it. (Though now he wondered if that was a problem with his partners and not the play itself, because he thought if it was with Dick Grayson, he could _definitely_ get into it.) But he knew there were boundaries you set up at the beginning. You established a set order of things, and made a safe space for you and your partner, because it could become something else if you weren't careful. So there were precautions like safe words, and learning what your partner would be okay with in terms of punishment. Because punishment was part of the play but--

The way Dick looked right now, Jason didn't think that was the sort of expression Dick ever ought to have. Not even in a scene like this. It didn't look like the good sort of pain and pleasure. So why didn't Dick say something?

The woman carefully led Dick over to the bed. He wobbled a bit, a combination of his sore ass, his cock hanging out of his briefs, and pants halfway down his thighs. She laid him down on his back, but upside-down. Feet pointed at the head of the bed and his head hanging off the other end, so anyone watching could still see his face. She pulled Dick's belt out of his pants, pushed his arms down, over his head, and tied the leather belt around them. Jason knew if Dick wanted to he could get out of it easily. So Dick must want to be there. But everything in Dick's face and the way his chest heaved said that Dick didn't want to be there anymore. Jason tried to tell himself it was part of the act, it was for the audience, but his gut wouldn't let him believe it.

The woman climbed on top of Dick, knees planted firm on either side of his shoulders, and lowered her skirt over Dick's face. She moved up and down, grinding her groin against Dick's mouth. Jason watched Dick's hands clench into fists and pull against the belt, but he still obediently buried his head under her skirt. And then the woman straightened back up and Dick let his head drop back. Jason's stomach twisted at the sight.

Dick looked broken. Like the way Jason had found him in that motel room a month ago.

The woman lowered herself again, and again Dick obediently lifted his head to meet her.

It took all Jason had not to run in there and stop them. If Dick wanted to get into this lifestyle, if this was what got Dick hot, then fine. Jason didn't care--except for that hot jealous coiled in his stomach. But if Dick was intentionally hurting himself, for whatever reason, Jason wasn't going to stand for that. 

And when Dick's head dropped back down again, and Jason saw his face smeared in cum, the way his eyes weren't looking at anything at all, the utter lifelessness in his body, Jason made a decision that he wasn't going to let Dick do this again. Not like this, not in a way that made him look dead inside.

Dick let her lower herself onto him a third time and now Jason looked away. He wasn't okay with any of this. He left.

\-----

It was only the next morning and Jason still hadn't figured out what to tell Oracle. He'd sat in bed all night thinking about it, thinking about what he could possibly say, thinking about what would be breaching Dick's personal privacy, thinking about Dick, thinking about Dick tied up and squirming underneath him, Dick's whines and moaning his name--

About sunrise, Jason decided sleep was too elusive a beast and he better have a cold shower and a cup of coffee instead.

A cold shower proved to be useless. He gave up on that venture and ended up leaning against the shower wall, palm against groin, trying not to think about all the things he'd like to do if he had Dick tied to a bed. And of course when you try not to think about something, it's all you can think about.

By the time he got his cup of coffee, he had rationalized that the whole thing wasn't even about Dick. It was just about him needing to be in control again. It was a natural psychological reaction to what happened to him and had absolutely nothing to do with an attraction to Dick he'd been ignoring for years. He could be with anyone else and it would satisfy him just the same, he repeated. 

He was just pouring his second cup of coffee when there was a knock on his door. He frowned and glanced into the living room at his security feeds. It was early and he was only half dressed and--What the hell was Dick doing here?

He opened the door and Dick didn't say anything. Just held up the bug.

Oh. 

Jason had expected him to find it eventually, but in the mess of everything he'd forgotten about it entirely.

"So what do you want?" he finally snapped when Dick didn't say anything. He didn't mean for it to sound as harsh as it did.

"We need to talk."

"I haven't said anything to Oracle, so you can relax." Even though Dick looked perfectly calm, and he was the one who was starting to get angry.

"Can I come in?"

Jason hesitated, then opened the door and went back into the kitchen for his coffee. He didn't bother to offer one to Dick.

Dick followed him to the kitchen, and even though he looked perfectly at ease as he took a seat on Jason's counter top, Jason could see the signs of Dick's discomfort. The way his mouth twitched in a smile wasn't a smile, it was him figuring out words. The way he tapped a rhythm out on the tile with his fingers was more anxious than relaxed. And, probably the most obvious, Dick wasn't teasing him about the state of his apartment or how he looked.

In the silence, Jason's mind started to wander.

He slipped himself in-between Dick's knees and pressed his lips to Dick's chin. Dick moaned as he sucked at the skin and Jason quickly removed Dick's shirt. He ran his hands over every inch of skin. Any marks left by that woman last night were mysteriously gone. Dick bucked his hips up against Jason's body. Jason tightened his hands around Dick's ass and pulled him closer. He sucked at Dick's neck while Dick whined and hands dug into his back. He pulled Dick off the counter entirely and turned him around. He pulled Dick's pants and briefs down, slid his hand along the curve of Dick's ass and felt the shudder through Dick's body. He listened to Dick mewl as he hooked a finger inside Dick and pulled. He rubbed the edges of Dick's tight hole with one finger, then spread it with two. Dick moaned and panted beneath his hands.

"About last night--" Dick's voice cut in, perfectly casual, though about hesitant to broach the subject.

Jason snapped back to reality and took a large gulp of his coffee. He set the cup down and went to his bedroom for pants.

"Yeah, what about it?" he said over his shoulder.

"I know you were there."

"No shit. We had a conversation, dumbass." He grunted as he pulled on a pair of jeans that didn't smell. At least not as bad as the rest of his laundry.

"I mean after."

Was he really going to make Dick say it? He sighed and decided he was too tired to drag this conversation out, and there was no point in pretending he didn't know what Dick was talking about. And maybe, if he played his cards right, he could turn this into something that would satisfy that burning jealousy in his stomach.

He went back into the kitchen for his coffee and found Dick pouring himself his own cup.

"Okay, fine. I was there." Jason shrugged. "But don't worry. I'm not really up for telling Oracle what you're doing with your time off. It's your business."

"Thanks." Dick hesitated, then finally said, "I just--I know what I'm doing, okay? I don't want you to get the wrong idea."

Jason snorted. He had plenty of wrong ideas at this point, but he was pretty sure Dick wasn't talking about those.

"I mean it. I really am okay."

"How long have you known her?" 

"A couple weeks."

"So last night wasn't your first time together."

Dick hesitated again before quietly answering, "Second."

Jason knew by the pause that Dick had figured out where this conversation was going. So he jumped ahead to the end. Because like he'd said to Barb--talking wasn't really his thing. "She pushed you past a limit--"

"It's kind of the concept--"

"That's not what I'm talking about and you--"

"It's fine--"

"It's not fine if you're--"

"I can do whatever--"

"You're intentionally hurting yourself and that's not--"

"So what?" Dick finally snapped.

Jason raised an eyebrow and took a sip of his coffee. It wasn't like Dick to lose his temper. This was worse than he thought.

But, it didn't take Dick long to get control of himself again. "I just mean--I told you, I know what I'm doing." He finished his coffee and started washing the cup.

Jason waited until Dick was drying the mug before turning the conversation where he really wanted it to go, and hell--it was a leap, but he was pretty sure he had to take it. For his own sanity, and hopefully for Dick's.

"You should get a consistent partner. One who knows your boundaries."

"That takes time. I'll learn--"

"Not if you can't even stop at your limits now--"

"I'm really fine--"

"You're not fine at all and you need someone who knows what you've been through, someone who--"

"And who in the world is going to--"

Jason didn't need to interrupt Dick that time. In the same way they'd been cutting each other off and predicting each other's arguments, Dick had already figured out what Jason's proposed argument would be.

"I would never ask you to do that," he said quietly and put the mug away.

"That's why I'm asking you."

Dick shook his head and tried to head back to the living room but Jason blocked the doorway.

"Dick."

Dick avoided looking at Jason. It wasn't often Jason was in the position to scold Dick, but he had to admit, he relished it. And he knew this situation wouldn't last long. So he chose his words carefully.

"I'm not asking out of pity, alright? So you can forget that. I'm asking because I think it would be mutually beneficial."

The only way you could convince Dick to do something healthy for himself was to convince him it would be good for someone else, too. Which, Jason often found he had the opposite problem. He'd go through great pains just to inconvenience someone else.

But it didn't seem like Dick was quite convinced. And Jason was pretty sure he wasn't going to get an actual yes. At least not yet. So he stepped aside to let Dick leave.

"Next time you go offline, call me."

Dick paused at the front door, but said nothing. And then he was gone.

Jason sank down onto the floor of the kitchen and pleaded with the universe that he hadn't just royally embarrassed himself and that he would definitely be getting a call within the next week, because fuck if he was going to let this be the end of it all.


	2. First Time

It was one of those out-of-body-experiences. Where you were watching what was happening to you, rather than seeing it from your perspective. Which was the first clue to Jason it was a dream. The second clue was that he already knew this recurring nightmare, and he knew how hopeless it was to try to wake up from it.

It was the same as always. That woman--now he knew her as Natasha Knight; before she had just been "that psycho bitch"--forcing a drug into his body. In his dream, he was always so close to getting free when he started losing control of his mind and his senses-when everything got hot, so hot he couldn't focus. It felt like a fever dream. Even watching it happen, he felt the intense heat and pain and frustration that eased only when that woman began to use his body for her own pleasure.

But more than all that, he felt powerless. And the dream was worse. Because he was watching, and he still couldn't do anything.

 

Jason woke up in his least favorite state: nauseous and hard. One without the other was fine, manageable. Even though it was usually dry heaving because damn if he ate enough before bed to actually be sick when he woke up, it was still miserable having to deal with a hard-on while his mouth tasted like bile and he was still recovering from a nightmare.

He rinsed his mouth out as best as he could, but even when he was sure it was as clean as it could get without sticking a bar of soap in it, he could still taste the vomit. Because the nightmare was still hanging over his head.

He sank to the floor and stared blankly at the cracked tile as he slipped a hand in his boxers. But he kept thinking about his damn nightmare, the damn memories, and every time he felt sick it was harder to finish the job. It wasn't even like taking one step forward and two steps back, because at least if he was doing that, he'd be getting less hard in one direction. It was more like taking a half-step forward and a half-step back and fuck--

He heaved again, but nothing came up. The stomach acid was going to start burning through his gums if this kept up.

He just needed to think about something else. Anything else.

And, as it had been all week, he started thinking about Dick hanging off the edge of a bed, wrists bound, cum smeared on his face. Then he thought about Dick bent over his counter, pressed up against the shower wall, or tied down to his bed.

With a half-guilty groan, Jason settled on a mental image of Dick kneeling on the cracked tile, red-faced, lips swollen, blindfolded and sucking him off.

Even though hadn't heard from Dick at all, the separation did nothing to ease his new fascination he had with dominating Dick. In fact, he was sure it was growing into an obsession. And he was convinced the only way to satisfy it was to get a damn text or call from Dick saying yes.

Or at least a text saying no, because then he could resign himself to these fantasies. It was the hope (and simultaneous fear) of not knowing that was driving him up a wall.

Jason finally found the strength to take off his boxers and finish the job in the shower. His fantasy-Dick went with him. And when he came he was torn between the image of Dick taking it all in the face or swallowing it in one giant gulp. Well, the nice thing about it being a fantasy was you could have it both ways.

He rinsed off and dressed in a T-shirt and sweatpants and hunted for breakfast. Even though it was already well past noon.

He finally managed to find some cold pizza in the back of his fridge. It had to be a week old. It was stale as all get-out, but if he picked off the mold on the edges, it was fine.

Then he grabbed his laptop and settled in for a day of research on the latest weapons and what he was going to do to make his better.

It was a pretty productive day, as far as improving his arsenal went. He made a few orders, did a couple of sketches for his own modifications. It was about ten at night, and he was just starting to think it might be time for dinner when his cell phone rang.

"Please don't be Dick," he thought and at the exact same time he also thought, "Please be Dick."

For better or worse, it was Dick.

He swore, then answered as nonchalantly as he could.

"What do you want?" So much for nonchalant.

"Are you busy right now?"

Jason frowned and was on his feet in an instant. Dick sounded fine, but Dick was an excellent liar. It was only the touch of breathlessness in his voice that clued Jason in.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm fine. I just--I need a ride. I'm not really okay to drive and--"

He snorted. "You're calling me because you're drunk?"

"Not exactly. I'm at that same club--"

"I'll be right there."

"You don't have to hurry--"

"You owe me," he said and hung up.

Jason took a minute to change into jeans and a T-shirt that didn't have pizza sauce stains on it. He tucked a .44 into the back of his belt--just in case.

He grabbed a spare helmet and got on his bike. The ride should've taken twenty minutes. He did it in ten.

He found Dick standing outside the club with that same red-haired girl from before. He recognized the other man and woman with them from that room. His stomach turned. So even after his offer, Dick had still gone back to them.

He started to take his helmet off, but Dick was walking over anyway.

"Just go," Dick said quickly and took the spare helmet from him.

Jason bit down on his tongue. Dick looked pale and his movements were off. It wasn't the usual, confident Dick Grayson walk that came from years of training his body. It looked horribly average and slightly unsteady. Was Dick really drunk?

But he didn't ask. He just said, "You want to go back to the manor?"

And Dick shook his head.

So he took them back to his place. And spent the duration of the drive trying not to think about how good it would feel to fuck Dick on his bike.

Once inside his apartment, he quickly closed his laptop and shoved away all his weapons notes. Not something he wanted Dick--or Batman--looking at. But Dick didn't seem to be in a very observant mood as he sank down on the couch and buried his head in his hands.

"You want a coffee?" he asked, thinking it might sober him up.

But Dick shook his head. "I'm not drunk."

Jason went ahead and brewed a pot anyway. "You want to talk about it?"

Dick shook his head again.

"Are you staying the night?"

Dick sighed loudly. "Can you just give me a minute to breathe?"

"My driving's not that bad," he muttered under his breath and poured the coffee into two mugs.

He took them back over to the living room and sat down on the coffee table opposite Dick. He nudged him with his foot and handed him the mug.

Dick looked up at him with a glare, but took the mug.

"I just busted my ass to pick you up, alright? So talk to me."

Dick took a sip of his coffee--probably to avoid answering right away. When he finally did speak, his voice was quiet, a bit distant, like he was trying not to feel anything about what he was saying Jason knew that tactic.

"I was with Laura--"

"Who's that?"

"The girl. Red hair."

"Oh."

"And we were... well, you know." 

Jason felt that hot jealousy in his stomach again. He took a sip of his coffee for a distraction.

"Anyway, I sort of had a panic attack--"

"Jesus, Dick. This is what I was talking about. This is what safe words are for--"

"Safe words are sort of useless when you're gagged--"

"Which is why I told you that you needed a partner who knows you." He tried really hard not to imagine Dick gagged, but damn--

"Fine. Whatever. You were right, okay?"

About anything else, Jason might've rubbed it in Dick's face. Not this. Not now. "What did she--Laura--do?"

"She was understanding. I mean, she noticed I wasn't okay, so that's something."

"Panic attacks are kind of obvious." They were, unfortunately, something Jason was rather familiar with.

"She offered to drive me home, but," Dick shrugged again. "I just wanted space."

"So you called me?"

"I couldn't drive and I couldn't exactly call Barb or Alfred."

"Good to know where I stand," he muttered and got to his feet.

"Jay, don't--"

"It's fine." He went back into the kitchen to finish his coffee. Mostly he just couldn't look at Dick because he kept seeing him with a damn gag in his mouth, laying out over the coffee table. If this kept up, every piece of furniture in his apartment was going to turn into a reminder of Dick.

Dick laughed bitterly and shook his head. "Of course, I have a panic attack and you turn it into a Jason-Todd-pity-party."

"You want me to make it a Jason-Todd-was-right party?" he snapped back. "Because I told you this would happen. I told you it was a bad idea to do what you were doing, and I gave you a way out, and you didn't take it. And you want me to have sympathy for you?" 

Jason bit down on his tongue. No--he didn't mean that. He did have sympathy for Dick. A lot of it. Because he knew what Dick was going through and he knew how awful it was, so why did he have to throw everything back like that?

Guilt hit him like a knife as he watched Dick deflate. Emotionally and very nearly literally. It was like watching sand run through a glass and eventually Dick disappeared out of Jason's view, behind the couch.

Jason left his coffee on the counter and went back to Dick. Why was it so hard to just say he was sorry? He tried, but the words weren't coming. So instead he just brushed his hand against Dick's shoulder.

And of course Dick flinched away from him. So with a sigh Jason dropped to his knees so he was eye-level with Dick--at least, if Dick would lift his head.

"Dick, I--" But the apology still wouldn't come. So he tried again. "I want to help you."

"You're doing a bang-up job so far."

"I know. But my offer still stands."

"What offer?"

Jason ran a hand through his hair and sat back on the carpet. "Do I have to spell it out? If you want a dom, I'll do it. I'll be better than that Laura bitch at any--"

"She happens to be a very nice woman," Dick snapped back.

"Sure, whatever." Jason wasn't going to be fond of anyone who sent Dick into panic attacks. "But I do mean it. If you really want to do this thing, I'll help you do it properly. So you don't have melt downs at clubs with people you don't know very well and end up calling someone like me for a ride."

Now Dick finally looked at him. "You're being serious?"

"You thought I was kidding?"

"I thought you were teasing me."

"I wouldn't do that."

"You would."

"Okay, maybe, but I wasn't."

Dick stared at him and Jason hated that he couldn't tell what Dick was thinking. Usually Dick was so readable--to people that knew him, anyway. Dick had several key tells that Jason was aware of. Subtle glances and fidgets, or a muscle twitch that you had to know where to look to catch. But right now Dick was staring at him and Jason had no idea what he was thinking. And that made him nervous. He teetered between hope and fear.

"Well, do you want to?"

And then Dick leaned back into the couch and shrugged his shoulders. "I guess we could try it."

Relief washed over Jason and he let out a long breath.

"Have you even done it before?"

"Sure." Jason had done it hundreds of times now, in his head.

"Fine. Let's try it."

"Right now?"

"Yes, now."

"About ten minutes ago you couldn't breathe. Is that really a headspace you want to get into?"

Dick twisted around so he could see the clock in the kitchen. "I have about two hours before Barb'll be able to unscramble my signal."

Jason decided now wasn't the time to turn down an offer that might not come around again any time soon. "Okay, but I need to eat." He got up and went into the kitchen. He pulled a protein bar from the cupboard. "And we have to talk about stuff."

Dick got up and followed him. "What's there to talk about?"

"For starters, what's your safe word?"

"Juice box."

Jason snorted. "That's two words."

"So?"

"Alright, and we have to set ground rules. The whole point is for you to not go into a panic attack."

"Well, I guess no gags," Dick mumbled.

"Which would be dumb anyway since we're just starting out."

"I really don't know what else."

"We'll go slow then." Jason chewed on his power bar and tried to look thoughtful as his mind ran wild with the dozens of fantasies he'd been pondering all week. "For tonight.... Are we talking full sex?"

Dick shrugged. "Whatever you want."

There were way too many options for what Jason wanted. He stuffed the power bar all the way into his mouth and swallowed. He washed it down with water straight from the tap.

Jason tried to remember the last time he'd changed his bed sheets. Not since he moved in. Which was like, a month ago? Two months ago? That wasn't too bad. And he kept most of his mess in the living room. It should be fine.

"Why don't you undress and I'll be in there in a minute?" Ugh that was hardly the commanding tone he imagined himself having.

But Dick didn't say anything about it. Only nodded and went into the bedroom.

"And Dick--"

He paused at the doorway.

"You'll use your safe word if you have to?"

"Yeah, I know."

"I really mean it."

"Okay."

Jason nodded and Dick disappeared. He ran his hands over his face and let out a slow breath. This was all happening so fast he didn't even know where to start. He swallowed hard and quickly shoved out all the fantasies his brain was running wild with. Because no, those would wait. He'd tease them out of Dick slowly as they gained each other's trust. Tonight was going to have to be relatively simple.

But self-control was never one of Jason's strong points.

As hard as he worked to dam up all the fantasies in his head in a temporary corner of his mind, it all came bursting through when he saw Dick lying naked on his bed. But at least he knew he couldn't enact every fantasy in the next hour. And he was only giving himself an hour because he wanted time for proper aftercare, something he was convinced Laura neglected, he thought bitterly.

He brushed his hand against Dick's leg and couldn't help but smile when Dick flinched. Real-life Dick was as sensitive as fantasy-Dick. Awesome.

"How you doing?" he asked with a faint hint of real concern.

He could feel Dick's glare as he went to his dresser for lube and a condom. Because of course he'd prepared for this a week ago. But then told himself he was dumb and shoved it in the back of a drawer. Even if they didn't actually have sex, he wanted everything handy, just in case.

"What are you so pissy about? I haven't even done anything," Jason snorted.

"You're being exceptionally nice for a dom. Nicer than you are normally."

"Meanness isn't the key to a good dom, Dickie," Jason grinned and set his stuff down on the nightstand. He splayed his hand over Dick's chest and leaned in close. "The trick is control."

"Wait," Dick said quickly, and Jason raised his eyebrows, but didn't pull away.

"I'm adding a rule."

"Not your place."

"Jason--"

"If you're breaking the scene, use your damn safe word."

"Fine--Juice box," he snapped, and Jason immediately pulled away.

"See?" He ran his hand tenderly over Dick's neck. "That's how that works. What's wrong?"

"No kissing."

"What?"

"Just--no lips to lips, okay?"

Jason frowned. "Why?" There were plenty of other things he could do with Dick without kissing, but it just seemed like such an odd rule.

"Just because. Why do I need a reason?"

Jason shrugged his shoulders. "Alright, fine. No hot, sweaty, tongue-sucking, lip-biting kisses. We good to go on?"

Dick nodded and Jason put his hand back on Dick's chest, running his hands over the muscles and scars, relishing the way Dick's body tensed and untensed under his hand. He could have done that alone for an hour, memorizing Dick's body and each twitch. It would make his later fantasies much more lifelike.

But he only had an hour to do everything, so he didn't have any time to waste.

In an effort to keep every fantasy he'd dreamed up from crowding his head, for tonight, he settled on one goal: making Dick scream.

He ran his hand down Dick's stomach to the dark hairs along his lower abdomen. There were red marks along Dick's hips and thighs that Jason was determined to out do. Maybe another night.

For now he slid his finger tips into the space at the base of Dick's cock and rubbed at his skin. 

He watched Dick bite down on his lip as he started at the base and slowly trailed his fingers to the end, eventually taking Dick fully in his hand and stroking him. He took in every detail of the blush growing on Dick's cheeks and his cock as blood ran faster. But he didn't stay there for long. Dick still looked about as pleased as someone watching a sad movie and that wasn't going to cut it for Jason.

Jason pulled his shirt over his head and left it on the floor. Then he kicked off his shoes and climbed onto the bed, positioning himself between Dick's legs.

He pressed his lips to Dick's jaw and sucked. He dragged his mouth down Dick's neck, making noises all the way, hoping it might encourage Dick to do the same. Dick did arch his neck and expose more flesh for Jason to suck at, but he still looked passive in all of this. Jason was set on unwinding him, he just hoped he had the time.

Jason nipped at Dick's collar bone, grabbing at a piece of skin and digging his teeth into it until he heard Dick whine. Then he let go and kissed the fresh bite mark, even sucking a bit for good measure.

He kept one hand playing around Dick's cock, teasing him with half-intended brushes of skin. His other hand was pressed firmly against Dick's side, to hold the both of them steady.

He kept his mouth moving down and his eyes flicking up, as he tried to catch every subtle shift in Dick's expression.

It was a slow process, dragging Dick out of his doll-like shell. But as he tongued Dick's left nipple and pinched the right one, Dick's mouth opened in an unrestrained gasp for air, and the tip of his head turned into a full arch of his back, up against Jason.

It was a good victory. So good, Jason switched sides and pressed his tongue to Dick's right nipple, licking right over the space he'd been irritating. And this got him a quiet, half-strangled moan.

Real-life Dick wasn't nearly as needy as fantasy Dick, but Jason was glad to know he could still get those noises out. It just took more work than in his head.

He pulled away and examined what his work had done to Dick's erection. He was pleased to find it swelling nicely, and just beginning to pearl with precum.

Jason couldn't help but hum with satisfaction.

His own erection was rubbing against his pants, but he made himself wait. He glanced at his bedside clock. He still had thirty minutes and he hadn't even decided if they were going to actually have sex.

He popped open the lube bottle and rubbed a bit between his fingers. He pressed a slick thumb to Dick's mouth. Dick opened up obediently, breath still heavy, but Jason had to press his thumb against Dick's tongue to get him to actually taste it. And Dick gave him no indication of whether it was a good taste or a bad taste. He just swallowed in acceptance.

So Jason pushed his middle finger and forefinger into Dick's mouth, and in as low and base a voice he could muster, said, "Suck."

He felt the hitch in Dick's chest before he saw the shock in Dick's eyes. The bewildered surprise on Dick's face as he sucked obediently at Jason's fingers was almost too much. But what really did it was the sloppy noises. Because there wasn't an easy way to suck quietly, and Dick wasn't a naturally quiet person.

As Dick moaned around his fingers, and Jason simultaneously imagined that tongue licking his cock, and the feel of this compared to the feel of finger Dick's ass, Jason took his free hand and undid his pants. He pushed them down just enough to pull his cock out and palm it hard, because fuck he couldn't wait. Not with those sounds and damn he really wanted to put his mouth over Dick's and suck all that pleasure out, into him.

But limits were limits, so Jason settled on slicking up his second hand and guiding one of Dick's hands to his own cock so the two of them were rubbing him off at the same time while he slipped three fingers into Dick's mouth. The lube was almost sucked off his hand entirely when he came with a low, satisfied groan, all over Dick's chest.

It wasn't as good as the fantasy of Dick taking it in the face, but it would do for now, Jason thought to himself as he pulled his hand out of Dick's mouth and moved to take care of Dick.

Dick was leaking a good deal more now. His chest even trembled as Jason licked the underside of his cock and Jason couldn't restrain a smile.

He glanced at the clock. Ten minutes to suck Dick off and an hour of aftercare and debrief. That was easy.

But when he looked back up at Dick's face, the look of restrained want, he desperately wanted to take his time. To undo all of Dick's boundaries. He had the momentary evil thought that he could drag this out for an hour, even let Dick's trace go back online. Barbara would be able to read their locations and heartbeats and know exactly what was going on.

He had a feeling if he did that, Dick would never let him do this again.

So he took Dick's tip in his mouth and sucked gently, slowly working his way down, watching Dick just as slowly come undone. Watching the way his face went from subtle pleasure to full blush, memorizing every gradient shade along the way. Watching his mouth go from biting back moans to open and honestly groaning with the pleasure, the way Dick's fists tighten in the sheets, the way his back twisted and chest heaved as he finally came against the back of Jason's throat.

Jason wanted so badly to kiss Dick. To make Dick swallow everything he'd just taken in. With a frown, he swallowed. They were going to have to work around that kissing rule somehow. It was a really dumb rule.

"You okay?" Jason asked as he climbed off the bed and pulled his pants up.

Dick just nodded, and Jason could tell it was an honest one.

He helped Dick to his feet and walked him to the shower.

"And was that... okay? I know it was probably a bit vanilla compared to--"

"It was fine." Dick answered quickly.

Jason turned the shower water on with a frown. "Just fine?"

Dick shrugged and let Jason help him into the shower. He even let Jason rinse the cum off of his chest. Jason had been sure Dick would fight it, but he seemed to understand the aftercare process already. Maybe Laura wasn't as bad as he wanted to think.

"It wasn't really much of anything," Dick finally said.

"I know. It was just testing the waters. You still want to go out deeper?"

Dick looked like he was trying to work up a sassy retort for a minute, but it died before it reached his tongue and he only nodded.

Jason grinned and pressed his mouth to the side of Dick's temple, not minding the warm shower water hitting him too.

"I promise," he whispered huskily into Dick's ear, "I have a lot more planned for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if Laura will get much more character development or even another mention in this work (though I'm toying with her and Jay sharing Dick.... but idk), so I just want to clarify that she's not mean or anything and she doesn't do it to Dick on purpose. She actually quite nice and just is used to rougher scenes and since Dick doesn't tell her he's not okay, she doesn't realize it until it's too late.


	3. Treading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick and Jason try again. Better results, but it's still a rough trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took a day and an age. Sorry. I just had a lot of trouble getting into Dick's headspace for this scene. But I think I've got a better handle on where I want them to go. So hopefully the next chapters will come faster? We'll see. The hardest part is giving them a creative sex life so, I'll just keep doing my best. Suggestions are welcomed.

It'd been about four weeks and Jason was really unhappy with how it was going. He knew Dick was, too.

When Dick came back the second week, Jason was a little better prepared. He'd picked up a few toys that played various roles in all of his fantasies. He thought he'd take it slow, of course, and just went for the cock ring. He'd sucked Dick hard, slipped it on, then fingered Dick until Dick was absolutely begging for permission to come--just like in his fantasies--and his hand was beginning to cramp (though that never happened in his fantasies). He'd left Dick with a teasing smile, just to get a little hot water over his hand and came back to find Dick a mess--and not the good kind.

Dick had gone from begging to sobbing and struggling to breathe in the two minutes Jason had stepped out. And that killed just about anything else Jason had planned for the evening.

"I was fine until you left," Dick had mumbled after Jason had finished cleaning him up.

"Then scream your damn safe word at me," Jason had snapped. "How long is it going to take for me to convince you to use it? I don't want to keep doing this if this is how it's going to end. That's not what either of us want."

"Maybe it is what I want," Dick had snapped back, and they didn't talk about it after that. Though Jason was sure they needed to, but hell, he didn't want to bring it up.

The third week didn't happen at all. Dick had barely gotten his shirt off when Jason noticed bright red scratches on his back.

"What, so you go fuck Laura before you come here?" Jason had shouted in a rage he didn't really mean.

"Who I fuck and when is my business, Jason, not yours."

"It is my business if I'm fucking you too!"

"I think we can hardly call what we do 'fucking.'"

And that had been the end of that night. Jason was still nursing a broken hand from where he'd punched the counter top and a bruised foot from where he'd kicked the door shut behind Dick.

He wasn't even sure Dick would show tonight. And Jason really didn't blame him.

He'd been overly cautious. Jason would be the first person to admit it. But his fantasies, which were wonderful in his head, sounded a bit violent for someone like Dick. And he knew it was his fault--not Dick's--that they hadn't actually had sex. Sure, Jason got the lube and condoms out each time, with full intention of using them, but when it came down to it he remembered finding Dick in a motel room covered in blood and cum and he couldn't bring himself to do that to Dick, even if the situations were completely different. And to top it off, Dick refusing to use his safe word even when he was having a panic attack was horrifically problematic.

Even though he was positive their arrangement was over, Jason was working on a plan for the evening. And unfortunately, the first half of that plan was talking--something he knew neither he nor Dick actually wanted to do.

Jason was surprised (and relieved) when Dick actually did show up, and more surprised when the first thing Dick said was a quiet, "I'm sorry."

"Come again?"

"I'm sorry about--last week. I should've told you in the beginning that I didn't want what we were doing to be... exclusive."

Jason was a little taken aback. He wasn't used to apologies, not quite like this. "Well--We didn't really say--"

"It wasn't Laura, if that helps any."

"Not really."

"This just wasn't exactly, I mean, we weren't exactly doing--"

"I know." Jason licked his lips tentatively. "We need to talk about it. Again. Because I think the ground rules we established weren't very clear."

All of the submissive apology in Dick's face vanished and Jason watched his body tense into a defensive position. God, reading Dick was like reading a children's book some days.

"What do you mean we weren't clear?"

"Well, for starters, you won't use your damn safe word."

"I know when to use it," Dick snapped back. "You're the one who just--"

Jason snorted. "Panic attacks aren't sexy. That doesn't exactly do it for me. And it's not good for you."

"That's not your call to make. If this isn't working out for you, then fine. I'm not the one who asked you to do this."

Jason knew Dick was baiting him, intentionally pushing him to fight. He also couldn't stop himself, and instantly went on the defensive. "I asked you to do this because you were hurting yourself."

"That wasn't any of your business!"

"Surprise, Dick, but people care about you. People like Barbara, who worry when you shut your monitors down for a night. People like me who don't actually get their jimmies rustled when you're so stressed you can't fucking breathe. Because whatever the hell you're doing isn't good for anything."

"Then I guess we're done. Whatever you thought this would do for the both of us, clearly isn't doing it."

Jason had expected this. And he had been ready for Dick to quietly tell him this whole thing had been a bad idea and leave, but with the way this fight went, he knew he couldn't let Dick go. He couldn't just let Dick leave and end up getting himself into worse and worse situations. So he decided it was time for the second half of what he'd planned for the evening, the part he'd planned tentatively, afraid to hope because he'd been so sure Dick wouldn't show, but also the part he'd been unable to stop thinking about.

"We're not done," he said with all the force he could muster, and relished the way Dick tensed under what was very nearly a command. "You came here tonight. You apologized. So clearly you want to do this."

"But--"

"Don't interrupt me." Jason's stomach twisted nervously. But the look on Dick's face kept him going. "Do you want to do this or not?"

Dick nodded cautiously.

"Good," he grunted, determined not to show how relieved he felt. "Safe word?"

"Juice box," he said slowly.

Jason nodded. "Go in the bedroom and undress."

As soon as Dick was gone he let out a deep breath he was very aware he'd been holding. He'd been afraid Dick would turn him down, or worse it would be too much for Dick. He was still trying to figure out what level of control Dick needed to keep from breaking down.

He breathed in and out slowly, carefully steeling himself to be commanding with Dick as he could be. He forced himself not to worry about hurting Dick, reminded himself that he would know when he crossed a line, and that if he wasn't pushing lines, it wasn't going to work for either of them.

When he was sure he was ready, he went into the bedroom, taking one of the sofa cushions with him.

"I didn't say you could sit," he said, and Dick nearly leapt off the bed onto his feet.

A small smile twitched at Jason's lips. He was beginning to get more comfortable with control, slowly, especially if that was what it did for Dick.

Jason set the couch cushion down on the floor and simply said, "Kneel."

He watched Dick lip his lips apprehensively, but obey. Jason stood in front of him, hands folded behind his back, legs spread just enough for his crotch to be level with Dick's face. He couldn't hold back a smile as Dick glanced up at him with a half-cocked eyebrow and a touch of disbelief on his face.

"The name of tonight is 'no hands.'"

Dick's disbelief went to full shock. "Starting... now?"

"Now."

Jason didn't expect the first fifteen minutes to be very arousing. Dick tugging his belt off with his teeth was interesting, watching his tongue work around the metal clasps. But when it came to the sturdy buttons on his pants, Dick looked less aroused and more frustrated. It was a good five minutes before Dick finally got the fabric over the button and took the zipper between his teeth.

"Watch your tongue."

Dick only grunted, his irritation not lost on Jason. But irritated was good, at least as far as Jason was concerned. Irritated was better than that doll Dick had been in the bedroom before.

Jason may have cheated a little and used his hands to help Dick tug down his pants and boxers in the back, but he made sure to keep them behind his back, resisting the temptation to dig them into Dick's hair and tug.

Dick's lips slowly wrapped around his cock, dragging down and back. Jason tightened his hands into fists behind his back, but he imagined pulling on Dick's thick dark hair, yanking his head back, opening up his throat and fucking his face--

Dick's tongue on his skin was only half of what got him so hard so fast. He let out a slow moan as fantasy-Dick choked on the length of his cock, and real-Dick simultaneously pulled his mouth from base to tip, dragging his tongue along the bottom the whole way.

"Alright," Jason said quietly. "On the bed."

Dick pulled off, a soft pop filling the room, and Dick licked his red lips tentatively, but obeyed immediately. God, the amount of murder Jason could commit to see Dick like this all day every day.

"Open up."

He watched Dick bite his tongue as he spread his legs. He wanted this, so badly, to pound Dick, watch him unravel and bite down on bed sheets and scream for Jason to let him come. But, once again, watching Dick lie on the bed, so still, so silent, and seeing him spread like that--as exciting as it was, he was reminded again of finding Dick bruised and broken on a motel bed and his stomach churned, despite his arousal.

So, Plan B.

Jason took a moment to check in with Dick. He pressed the back of his hand to Dick's cheek, gently brushed his fingers against his lips, then touched the pulse in his neck.

"How do you feel so far?"

"Fine," Dick answered calmly. "You haven't even done anything yet."

Good. He liked the attitude. It meant Dick was maintaining some level of personality, not the doll-like person from their first night together.

"And your safeword?"

"Jason--" he protested.

"Dick."

There was an exasperated sigh. "Juice box."

Jason let out a small hum of approval, squeezed the base of his neck gently, then moved to settle between Dick's legs.

Jason lowered his face into Dick's crotch and sucked a small hickey at the base of his cock. He moved his mouth lower, relishing the whine in Dick's throat as he sucked at his sack. And finally, that gentle gasp as Jason licked along the edge of his hole. He focused most of his attention here. He mentally logged every single gasp, whine, and hitched breath to replay in his fantasies later, and for the moment counted each as a personal victory. They were noises of pleasure, and that was exactly what he needed out of Dick. Proof that what they were doing was a good thing.

Sticking with the no hands rule, however, was proving to be difficult. His tongue could only do so much.

He pulled away. Dick whined when he did, and Jason couldn't hold back a smile.

Jason brushed his nose against Dick's neck. "How much time do we have left?" he murmured.

Dick opened his mouth to answer, but the breath turned into a small gasp that dissolved into a choked down whine as Jason sucked a hickey into his jaw, in a space the Batman's cowl would cover, but the average spring attire would not, and nudged a thigh against his crotch.

Jason continued sucking down Dick's neck as Dick craned his neck to see the clock. "A few hours, at best."

"Mm, is that all?"

He bit down on Dick's nipple and grinned when Dick's entire body lurched beneath him.

"If you're not done in a few hours--ahh--" The strangled note in Dick's voice was everything Jason wanted.

He ran his tongue over the area he'd just bitten and relished the faint tremor that ran through Dick's body.

Jason pushed himself up, hands planted on either side of Dick and elbow's locked. He took the time to absorb every inch of Dick's skin, all the details he'd been unable to get in their rushed first time together.

The bullet wound scar just above Dick's heart was the most glaring blemish. There were three fresh stitches just beneath his right arm that Jason ghosted over with his lips, and a yellowing bruise across Dick's left hip.

As much as Jason wanted to feel every inch of skin underneath his fingers, he settled for gentle kisses and the occasional hickey. He knew he could break his own no-hands rule--he was in charge, after all--but he wanted to set a precedent for Dick, that he wouldn't change his mind mid-way through a scene. He wanted to build a sense of trust between them, since that wasn't something they had a lot of.

He made his way from Dick's neck back down, adding in a few nips, just to watch Dick gasp and flinch. As impatient as he was getting, he was pleased he'd taken his time, because when he reached Dick's cock, he found him hard and trembling.

He breathed gently over Dick's sensitive skin and couldn't help but grin when his warm breath drew a whine and a buck of the hips from him.

"Jay--come on," he pleaded.

Jason tightened his hands into the bed sheets to keep from holding Dick down with them, and instead pressed a kiss to the inside of Dick's thigh. "Don't rush," he said quietly.

Dick gave a weak noise of protest, but Jason ignored it and licked the precum just beginning to leak from Dick's cock. Dick whined again.

"Alright, Dickie, you get two options."

He groaned and Jason only grinned wider. He was quite satisfied with how much he'd unravelled Dick. It didn't quite match up with his fantasy-Dick, but it was a good start in that direction.

"Option one--you suck me off, while I give you the best hand job of your life. Only rule is I have to come first."

"I think I already like option two better," he groaned.

"Are you sure?"

"No." Dick untightened his hands from the sheets for the first time in hours to rub them over his face. "What's option two?"

"You get to come first, but I suck you off at my own pace."

Dick bit down on his tongue and propped himself up on his elbows to make eye contact with Jason.

It was, so far, the sexiest Jason had ever seen him. Hair askew, face covered in blush and a sheen of sweat, and eyes full of both need and exhaustion.

"And punishment if I fuck it up?"

As horribly attractive as Jason found Dick sitting there, hard and blushing like a school girl in June, asking for punishment--Jason hadn't actually thought about that. The Dick in his fantasies was always so obedient, and so far he hadn't had to cross that bridge with real-Dick. They'd barely covered what was acceptable play, much less acceptable punishments. Why did Dick have to put him on the spot like that?

"Well, I guess you'll get one hell of a spanking." He hoped he sounded more intimidating than he felt. For good measure he nudged his knee against Dick's scrotum and watched him gasp and wince.

"Option one--fuck," he hissed.

Jason grinned and sat up on his knees. "Come on, then."

He waited until Dick seemed comfortable enough to get a good rhythm going. Waited until Dick's hands were tearing into the bedsheets and his thighs were shaking from the weight of supporting himself on all fours. Then he slid his hands around Dick's ass and took his cock in the palm of his hand.

As expected, Dick pulled back zero stops. There was no tease or play to his mouth. It was sloppy and desperate, with plenty of tongue and the most eager deep throating Jason had ever experienced. Jason obliged Dick with a careful, gentle handjob, one that wouldn't put him over the edge too quickly. He had no desire to end tonight with punishment. Maybe another night he could plan it better, give Dick a task so impossible he'd have to fail. But tonight wasn't it. There just wasn't time.

As he felt the height of his orgasm coming, he slipped one hand into Dick's hair and tightened his other around the base of Dick's cock. Dick whined and quickly took Jason to the hilt. Jason hit the back of Dick's throat and came in a rush. Dick coughed and spluttered, seemed to swallow at least a little of it, but ultimately choked on most of it. 

Jason let Dick catch his breath, wiped his mouth with one hand--since kisses were still off limits--and when Dick was slouched against Jason, breathing freely, Jason rubbed his palm against the head of Dick's cock and fingers along his shaft until Dick's cum stained the sheets alongside his own.

Jason ran his fingers through Dick's hair as he came off the orgasm, slowly bringing him to a more relaxed state. Aftercare was another thing they hadn't really talked about, but as far as Dick had disclosed, there hadn't been any problems with that.

"Shower?" he suggested gently, and Dick murmured what sounded like an agreement.

This time Jason got fully under the water with Dick, instead of rubbing him down with soap and water from outside. He'd meant to keep the aftercare separate like that, with him taking care of Dick but somehow, tonight seemed like it called for a little more intimacy.

"So, better? Worse?" he asked when he had them both rinsed down.

"Better," Dick said, and it was quiet, but Jason was sure it was honest.

"Good. That's good." Jason scratched at Dick's head, lathering the soap and working it through his roots.

Dick was the one who broke the silence with, "Is there a reason you're avoiding actual sex?"

Oh, god, so many reasons. But Jason wasn't ready to talk about that. Just as he knew there were things Dick wasn't ready to talk about. "Maybe next time we can talk about that," he said quietly.

"I'll use my safeword if it's too much."

"I know." Jason carefully rinsed Dick's hair out while keeping the soap out of his eyes. "I just think... let's talk about it next week."

"Alright. Fine."

It wasn't a terribly bitter fine--maybe a little, which Jason knew Dick had no right to that bitterness. Not with everything Dick was keeping from him. But, more than anything else, he was elated that Dick was confirming next week. That this was going to be a consistent thing between them, and that was worth everything to him right now.


	4. Unwanted Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally, finally, finally, Dick and Jay are actually getting somewhere.

There were two things Jason was desperately avoiding, but he'd reached a point where he couldn't see any other options. If he really wanted to keep up with Dick, he'd have to talk to two people in possibly the worst, most awkward discussions he could have with them.

He needed to talk to Laura about Dick's needs as a sub and to Barbara about his needs as a lover.

He'd let out enough swear words about it that he didn't seem to have any left in him as he tackled what he thought would be the easier of the two: Laura. Because at least she didn't really know him.

They met in a bar. It was casual, she seemed relaxed. Her hair was short and brown, not the bright synthetic red he'd seen her in before, and she was wearing a purple cardigan. No black, no leather, and her boobs were smaller than he remembered.

Jason took a long sip of his beer and watched with slightly raised eyes as the bartender poured Laura a full shot of the top-shelf tequila. She took a small sip, closed her eyes, and smiled.

"Nothing like smooth tequila," she said, then finally turned her attention to Jason. "It's about Dick, right? If he's in any sort of trouble, just for the record, I haven't seen him in over a month."

"No. It's not--" Jason shook his head. "He's fine. Mostly. I mean, he's not in trouble." Though, judging by the time, he guessed Batman was in the middle of stopping some sort of criminal undertaking. Trouble was relative.

"Then, in that case, what did you want from me? You don't seem like the sort who needs a girl with my particular skill set. But I've been wrong before."

Jason snorted because she was half-right while being wholly wrong. "It is about Dick," he finally said. "Though--I know your name isn't really Laura. How'd you know Dick's real name?"

"Because he's Dick Grayson," she laughed. "He's only Gotham's most eligible bachelor. I was actually rather excited when he approached me of all people that night."

"It was probably your hair," Jason said, thinking about Dick's leaning towards redheads with large breasts. Both of which, in Laura's case, were part of a costume. Maybe that's why Dick had picked her, ultimately.

"Well, like I said, I haven't seen him in over a month. Not since he panicked and wouldn't let me calm him down. I did try checking up on him, but he wouldn't answer my texts. I assumed he found a new dom." She only looked a little bit bitter about that as she took another sip of her drink.

"Sort of." Jason sighed. God this was embarrassing, but he was running out of options. "After... that night, the night he freaked out, we went back to my place."

"You didn't take him home? What sort of friend--"

"He didn't want to go home," Jason snapped quickly. "I'm sure you can imagine home is a complicated place for someone like him."

"Big manor, and a butler to wait on him hand and foot. I'm sure it's absolutely miserable."

"You don't know anything about him," he nearly shouted. His hand tightened so hard around his bottle he thought it might break in his hand. This was why he had tried to get Dick away from Laura. She didn't understand him, not the way he did.

"Anger management issues much?" She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her drink. "I'm sure he has his own issues, or he wouldn't have gone looking for a woman like me. But you better explain to me what sort of friend you are to him, because I'm not liking what I'm hearing so far."

Jason took another gulp of his beer. "It's not at all what you think. I've known Dick for a long time." He couldn't exactly explain the finer points of that, since Jason Todd was a dead man. "And when I saw him... with you, I knew he wasn't taking care of himself."

She paused, hummed quietly, then finally said, "So you could tell too."

"You knew?" Jason was bewildered. He supposed, if Laura was any good at what she did, she'd be able to tell at least on some level Dick's wants and needs. Maybe he'd been quick to judge her. Maybe. She still should've stopped sooner, then, especially if she knew.

"He was, without a doubt, the worst sub I've ever had."

"What does that mean?"

"I've never been with someone who fights subspace so much. But he was always so insistent on aggressive play." She shrugged her shoulders. "We talked about it a couple times. I knew he was hiding something, but he always promised he'd try to get better at it. I suggested he wasn't really into it, but he was convinced it was what he needed. If you know him so well, please, I would love to hear an explanation."

Jason could only shake his head, because he didn't have an answer, but he thought he understood what Laura was saying. He'd been starting to think that the problem was with him, that he wasn't aggressive enough for Dick out of some fear of hurting Dick. But the way Laura said that, it confirmed his suspicions that Dick really wasn't as into the play as he said he was.

He couldn't wrap his head around why, though. If it wasn't something meant for Dick, why did he keep insisting on it?

"He's got a history," was all he offered in the way of explanation. And in all honesty, it was all he had.

"Well I could tell that," Laura rolled her eyes. "It's written all over his face, his posture--his skin. He doesn't bruise easy, but he bruises a lot." She paused and looked Jason over. "Written all over your face, too."

Jason tensed, but finished off his beer. His set of traumas were not Dick's. And neither his, nor Dick's, were for this woman to pry into. He got to his feet and muttered, "I'll see you around," though he hoped not.

He could almost feel her confident smirk burning into his back as he left the bar.

He was in no mood to deal with Barbara after that. Maybe that was why he found himself at her door an hour later.

"Haven't seen you in a while," Barbara said as he walked in--naturally without looking at him. "Sort of expected you a long time ago."

"If you wanted a timely report, you should've asked one of the kids."

She turned around to look at him now, and he could see concern etched in the hard lines around her glasses. She was exhausted, as usual. Perfect. Now they could both have unreasonable tempers, made worse from exhaustion. That always made for a great conversation.

"Jay--" She cleared her throat. "Jason, I'm going to be blunt. I know you and Dick are having sex."

Awesome. Dick would love to hear that.

"It's not really any of your business." Which made no sense for him to say. He literally came her to talk to her about it. What was wrong with him?

"I wouldn't ask you to pry into mine and Dick's sex life, and I can extend you the same courtesy."

As far as Oracle could keep her prying eyes out, right? All it would take was one or two hidden cameras in his apartment. She probably got off on that sort of thing.

"But it does beg the question," she said with a tight smile, "why are you here?"

And Jason couldn't articulate it. He couldn't be blunt in the way she was. Oh, he could be blunt, alright. He could call her a bitch, a pervert, a creep, any number of things he thought. But he couldn't find the right way to say, "Well, since you've had sex with Dick a lot, I thought you might be able to divulge some of the finer points of what he's usually like in bed." He couldn't gab with her like a couple of girls giggling over their shared ex-boyfriend.

At least he had a half-truth backup plan.

Jason took a seat on her couch, made himself comfortable. Swung his legs up onto her coffee table, relished her twisted look of distaste, and spread his arms over the back of the couch. "When I found Dick, he was in a sex club."

He didn't know if the look on her face was still about his dirty boots on her clean table or about what he said. But when she said nothing, he kept talking.

"He was there with a girl. Black leather and straps sort of deal. Any of that usual for him?"

"Dick and I haven't had sex in years. I don't know what he's into these days."

But he could tell by her voice that this was news to her. As far as she had known, up to this point, Dick's sex-life was rather vanilla.

Which surprised and didn't surprise Jason simultaneously. Dick was just so known for having sex, he'd have expected Dick to get bored of the same-old routine. But Dick--Dick from before, anyway--hadn't seemed interested in anything especially kinky. Not that they'd talked about it. But if there was any man who could get off doing the same three things with the same girls, it was Dick Grayson.

Jason's posturing crumpled as he thought about Dick then and Dick now. The loss in his confidence, in his smile. He pulled his feet off the table and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and letting his shoulders sag. It was the same increase in insecurities he saw in himself. Sure, he could snap at Dick and Barbara like it was any other day of the week, but even he had his moments.

"I'm worried about him," he finally said quietly.

"That bad, then," she breathed, and she sounded about to cry. In the moment, he had no sympathy. He knew her words meant--"If Jason Todd of all people is concerned, it must be god-awful, because he wouldn't care normally." Like she knew what he cared and didn't care about.

All the more reason to pin everything on Laura. "I saw him with this girl. He wasn't--He was doing things he was obviously uncomfortable with, but he wasn't saying anything. More like... the opposite."

"You mean saying nothing?"

"More like--" Jason paused, then finally committed to being as blunt and brutal as he could. Even if it meant being vulnerable. It was the only way to make Barbara understand it the way he was understanding it. "It's more like if I asked you to beat me with a crowbar."

And when he watched the way her shoulders tensed and her lips tightened into a firm line, he knew she did understand. Her hand was shaking as she used it to rub her temple and shield her eyes from him for a moment.

"When we were together," she said quietly, without looking at Jason, "things were complicated. It was never easy. But it always--He did everything with love and self-sacrifice."

"This is less like taking a bullet for someone and more like climbing on an altar and carving your own heart out."

"Why?" and Jason heard the desperation in her voice that he felt but could never quite express with the grace she did.

"Hell if I know," he snapped. He didn't mean to sound irritated. Almost apologetically he added, "That's what I came to ask you about."

"And why would I--" she let out a breathless laugh. "You think because Dick and I have history, I might have some insight on why he's hurting himself?"

He frowned, offended by her tone, and shrugged his shoulders. He knew how sullen and childish he sounded, but he hardly cared anymore. "Maybe," he snapped at her.

"Sorry, Jay. You're just going to have to ask him."

And that was the last last last last last thing Jason wanted to do.

 

\----------

 

Jason trailed one hand down Dick's bare chest and stomach. He felt the hitch in Dick's breathing at the gentle touch.

"Alright with that?" he asked quietly.

Dick shifted on the bed. He was lying on his back, hands cuffed behind him, and eyes were covered with a blindfold. He didn't look particularly comfortable, but he nodded.

Jason had been a little concerned about a blindfold, but he thought it would be a helpful step in getting Dick to actually surrender control. Someday he'd get those lips wonderfully red and swollen and tight around a ball gag, but for now there was still a no-gag rule (and that no kissing rule), so he would have to settle for the blindfold.

"Sit up."

"I'm fine--"

"I said sit up. On your knees."

Jason waited while Dick sat up and carefully adjusted, hampered little by his bound hands. Then he ran his hand back up Dick's abdomen, relishing the flinch at the sudden touch, and the whimper when he pinched Dick's nipple. He worked them one at a time, rubbing with his thumb, pinching between his fingers, until Dick's gentle whimpers were whines.

With that done, the clamps went on next. Jason tugged lightly on the chain strung between them, just to watch Dick inhale sharply. Next he tightened a heavy cock ring around Dick's cock and balls. He watched the shift in Dick's expression, the way unease turned the corner of his mouth, and he waited for Dick to utter his safeword, but it never came.

He attached the cock ring and the clamps with the chain. Not stretched or tight--that would come later, but taught. Just enough to remind Dick that there wasn't a whole lot of room to move, even if it didn't hurt--yet.

"Spread," he said calmly but firmly and watched Dick carefully adjust his knees so he was sitting up straight, legs spread as far apart as they would go while maintaining his balance. Jason nudged at one Dick's knees with his hand, pushing it out farther.

Dick hissed at the stretch in his thighs, lost his balance and fell backwards, supporting himself on his bound hands, and yelped at the pull on his nipples and cock from the new arch in his back.

"Stay," Jason ordered, and for good measurement fastened a spreader between Dick's knees. Then he slipped a lubricated finger inside Dick's ass. Dick's chest heaved as Jason stretched him, and Jason guessed by the tension in Dick's jaw, he was biting down on his tongue to keep from crying out.

Jason watched Dick carefully, waiting for a sign either that Dick was actively enjoying this, or for a safeword, but neither came. He frowned and pulled his fingers out.

"I'm fine," Dick mumbled, his voice tight.

"I didn't even ask."

"Please, Jason."

"Please, Jason, what?"

"Fuck me already."

Jason still wasn't entirely sure he could do that. Not just yet. But that was alright. He'd planned something else. He carefully lubricated a dildo he'd chosen purely on the fact it was about his size--okay, maybe it was a little bigger. Maybe.

Dick groaned as Jason slipped that and twisted it until Dick gasped sharply.

"Jay, please--"

But Jason left it alone after that. Let it sit, barely nudging Dick's prostate. He watched Dick shift and tense, try to take it in farther, move it where he wanted it. Jason didn't let him move for very long. He grabbed the cuffs around Dick's wrists and yanked them forward, pulling them between Dick's legs.

The strain on Dick's body was nothing. This flexibility was fully natural for Dick. The tug on the chain strung between his balls and his nipples, however, set him whimpering and heaving--though he quickly realized heaving only made his problem worse, and he practically held his breath to stay still. Jason fastened the cuffs to the spreader between Dick's knees, then stepped back to admire his handiwork.

"Jay," Dick gasped breathlessly. "Jay--Jason, where are you?"

"Right here," Jason responded immediately and moved so he could see Dick's face. He pushed his fingers inside Dick's mouth, and Dick obediently sucked and licked at them until they were replaced with Jason's cock. Jason held back as long as he could, until Dick was whimpering almost uncontrollably, and Jason finally came into his throat. This time, Dick managed to swallow most of it.

Jason ran his hand over the arch of Dick's stomach, gently tugging at the chain, before undoing the cock ring. Dick let out a sigh of relief and thrust up into Jason's hand, until he came all over himself and the bed and sank down into the mattress, breathing heavy, while Jason began to undo all his bindings.

Jason left all the toys in a pile to be cleaned later. For now, he sat with Dick, gently running his fingers through his hair. Usually they went straight from the bedroom to the shower, but tonight, Jason lingered, let Dick catch his breath. And Dick didn't seem motivated to move any time soon.

"We've got a lot to talk about," Jason finally said quietly.

"That's what you said when I got here."

"And you said afterwards."

"After-after," Dick said quietly and sat up. "I need a shower."

Jason sat up too, but as Dick got to his feet, he waved his hand dismissively. Jason wasn't entirely sure how to take that. He watched Dick walk into the adjacent bathroom and listened to the shower turn on. Jason fell back into the bed, knowing he should start cleaning up, but he really didn't feel like it. He didn't know how much energy he had in him and he wanted to save what there was for this unwanted conversation that clearly he was going to have to fight Dick to have.

With a groan Jason finally rolled over so that his feet could touch the floor and pushed himself up. He pulled the bed apart, tossed the soiled sheets into a hamper and dug through his nightstand for a clean pair. He hadn't been this consistent in his laundry ever, and now he was doing a load every week. He should start charging Dick in quarters.

By the time he had the bed remade and the toys soaking in warm water and sanitizer, Dick came out of the shower smelling like Jason's shampoo and wrapped in one of Jason's towels. Jason had daydreamed about that enough times to be unsurprised when his pulse quickened, but he ignored it.

Dick hardly even looked at him as he grabbed for his clothes from their usual place in the corner and pulled them on. "Oracle should be unscrambling my signal any minute. I should leave before--"

"She already knows, Dick." Jason sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Come on. We need to talk."

Jason could see the weight of indecision in Dick's body language. The way he shifted his weight between his feet. The way he glanced anxiously at the door, the window, then the bed. Finally, after a deep breath and a hard swallow, Dick said, "Okay, but in the living room."

Jason wasn't entirely sure why it mattered, but he obliged Dick that much, and followed him to the couch.

"What do we need to talk about?" Dick folded his arms over his chest as he sat down.

"For starters, how was tonight?"

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Better. You're getting better."

"I'm getting better?"

"Yeah. You're getting better."

Jason tried really hard not to be offended. Tried really hard not to yell at Dick that Dick was the reason he'd been going so slow, that Dick was the one who was prone to panic attacks and refused to use his safe word. He wasn't entirely successful, and managed to spit out, "That makes one of us."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"How about 'use your fucking safe word.'"

"We go over this every time. I will when I need to."

"And yet, every time, you don't."

"You hold back because you're scared of hurting me."

"I hold back because you don't know what you're asking for."

"Yes, I do." And Jason had never seen Dick's jaw look so harsh, so set. He'd never seen his eyes look so dark and determined--never so much like Batman.

"Then tell me why."

"Why what?"

"Why you hold back. Why you don't do what a sub should do--submit. Relax."

"I do--"

"You pretend to. I know you better than that. Fuck, even Laura knew you better than that and she doesn't know you."

"You've been talking to Laura?"

"I'll be talking to Zatanna next if you don't start being honest with me."

Dick uncrossed his arms after a moment and leaned over, nearly burying his head between his knees. He let his arms hang limply, finger tips brushing the carpet.

"I have to do this."

"Why?" Jason pressed.

"Because--" Dick paused. His gaze flicked up to Jason briefly. "Because I'm afraid I'll end up the other way if I don't."

"You'll... what?" Jason was completely bewildered.

Dick let out a deep breath. "Sexual abuse victims often will either become abusive or repeat their own cycle of abuse. And I don't want to do the former."

Dick would. Dick fucking would that fucking dumbass. Jason took a moment to make sure his response wouldn't be accidentally hurtful to Dick and finally said, "You realize you're forcing yourself into the latter."

"No. That's not what it's about--"

"But it's what you're making it. Don't you see that, Dick? This is why I offered to help." Jason reached out and rested his hand on Dick's shoulder. He squeezed it comfortingly, and tried really hard not to react in frustration when Dick pulled away. "Just because you're choosing to suffer doesn't make it okay. You're supposed to enjoy what we do, not endure it."

"It's the same basic--"

"It's not." There was a pause, and finally Jason said, "I want to do this, Dick. I do. But I want you to do it for the right reasons."

Dick seemed to mull Jason's words over for a moment before finally letting out a deep breath. "Then what--how do we fix it?"

"I'm only guessing, but I imagine you need a space you feel safe. Where you're not having to protect anyone."

Dick's mouth twisted into a bitter smile. "Suppose I couldn't really relax otherwise."

"So you have your rules--no gags, no kissing, and I'm going to add mine."

Dick frowned, but held eye contact with him. That at least was progress.

"That room," Jason jerked his thumb to his bedroom, "everything that happens in there is 'play,' okay? You don't go in that room unless you're ready. You don't go in there unless I'm ready."

"Makes sense."

"In that room, you strip at the door. Always. One more thing to keep it separate from out here."

Dick nodded slowly.

"And, lastly, you will always refer to me as 'Master' in that room."

Dick actually snorted at that. "Jay, come on."

"I mean it." And it was the most serious tone Jason had all night. "I want you to relax. You're handing everything over to me. We're not Dick and Jason in that room, okay? No more than we're Batman and Red Hood right now. It's your space to relax and my space to... well... have fun," he smiled. "If you don't like 'Master,' then fine. Pick something else."

"I will have a fit every time Alfred says, 'Master Dick,' or 'Master Damian.' No. We have to come up with something else."

"Fair," Jason grinned. "Then you pick and let me know.

Dick nodded. "Okay. Give me time to think. I'll let you know next week."

"It can't be a pun."

"Why not?"

"Because I will not burst into laughter every time you have to beg me to fuck you."

"You don't laugh at my puns anyway."

Dick was grinning now, and Jason couldn't help but smile back. This was more progress than they'd had in a month and a half. This was--this was enough. This was everything he wanted out of their arrangement.


	5. Chasms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick and Jason push boundaries for each of them, and maybe it's finally working. Or doing the exact opposite of what they want.

Dick and Jason settled on the word "Sir" as a title for Jason during their play. Dick said he tried hard to be creative but everything else was some kind of joke. Like "Red Head" and he had said it with such a dirty grin Jason was more offended than amused.

Dick stood at the foot of Jason's bed, completely undressed, safe word affirmed, and hands resting behind his back, while Jason removed his shirt but kept his pants. He hoped all their changes would be for the better. Tonight would be an interesting test run.

Jason did not tell Dick to sit or kneel or crawl. He only said the words, "You will come at my command."

"Yes, Sir," Dick answered immediately. Jason noticed he tensed, like he was preparing for a fight. Jason was a bit wounded Dick found him so predictable. 

So Jason knelt in front of Dick and wasted no time. He took Dick's cock into his mouth and sucked. He ran his hands up and down Dick's thighs, massaging muscle and pushing up against his ass, doing everything he could to loosen Dick up.

It worked well. Dick was hard in minutes and Jason looked up to see Dick's face screwed up tight with the effort of resisting the height of the orgasm. With a devilish grin, Jason pulled off, licked his tongue over Dick's tip, and gently coaxed Dick's cock to full curled erection with a few careful nips to the underside.

"Come," he said, and there was a moment's hesitation, Iike Dick wasn't prepared for the order and needed a moment to translate it and be sure it was real.

But he did come, standing there, cum squirting onto his stomach, chest heaving, and Jason just grinning pleasantly from his knees on the floor.

After Dick had his breath back, he bit down on his tongue. "Is... that all?"

Jason didn't give him a straight answer. Just kept wearing his grin. "Lie down on your back."

Dick did so and Jason crawled on top of him. Jason planted his first kiss on the corner of Dick's jaw. It was the closest he could get to a real kiss. He dragged his lips down Dick's neck and sucked the hollow of his collarbone as if he were kissing Dick on the mouth. He nipped at the skin just over the bone and pressed his tongue into the indent, leaving it red and sticky.

He went to Dick's nipples next, and like each time before, Dick whimpered at the bite. Jason licked a long strip up Dick's sternum and said. "What do you think about getting these pierced, Bluebird?"

Another thing they'd agreed on. If Jason had to be Sir, Dick had to be something else too. Jason liked "Slave" but Dick vetoed that as quickly as he had vetoed Master for Jason.

They eventually settled on an old petname Jason had for Dick, since it was outdated given Dick's current position as Batman.

"Or I could call you my Robin." Jason had grinned and Dick had very firmly said no.

"That sounds painful," Dick said. "Especially under the kevlar."

Jason could tell by the breathiness in his voice he was already aroused again. Good.

"Not saying it would be permanent. Maybe just once. Take them out right after."

Dick hesitated. Jason took a nipple between his teeth and tugged.

Dick gasped. "Yes. Once, yes, we can try it."

"Yes what?" Jason tugged.

"Yes, Sir."

Jason let go and kissed the tender flesh gently before licking it. "Careful, or you're going to earn yourself a punishment tonight," but he was smiling when he said it. 

Dick tensed underneath him and Jason nudged his knee up between Dick's legs. Already getting hard again. Good.

Jason continued his descent down Dick's body and carefully licked up every ounce of the mess on Dick's stomach. When he pressed his lips against the base of Dick's cock again, it was already it's wonderful deep red and swollen, though not quite as big as before. Good.

Jason repeated the blow job from before, hands on Dick's hips and tongue making warm trails on warmer skin until Dick was panting from both arousal and effort of restraining his orgasm.

"Come," Jason said a second time and Dick spilled without hesitation, but a little less onto his stomach. This time Jason cleaned it up immediately.

"You're doing so well, Bluebird," Jason said with a small smile and pressed another kiss to the corner of Dick's jaw.

Dick smiled back in an unusually honest and vulnerable way. Jason wasn't surprised. Praise was something anyone who has grown up in the Wayne manor would be starved for.

Jason slipped his hand over Dick's balls, palmed the base of his cock for a minute, but it only twitched limply, exhausted from two quick sessions. Good.

Jason carefully pressed one finger inside Dick and ran it along the inside of his cavity wall. They still hadn't actually fucked, and Jason didn't think tonight was going to be the right night either. But he had better plans.

Jason stretched Dick with two fingers. Dick's back arched compliantly, searching to meet his prostrate to the intrusion, even though his arousal was weak and probably going to be slow to peak.

By the time Jaaon added a third finger, Dick was moaning and sweating like a full orgasm, but his cock was only just upright. Dick gasped when Jason made it four fingers.

"Ow--Jay--Sir--that hurts."

Jason paused, hand halfway in. "Safe word?"

Dick bit down on his lip and shook his head. "No, Sir."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, please. I'm fine--Sir."

Jason thrust his hand in and Dick whimpered. "Then don't ever use my name again. This is your second warning. You don't get a third one."

"Yes, Sir," Dick choked out. 

Jason finished spreading Dick as much as he could. Dick was nice and hard again, but he knew there wasn't going to be much out of this one. Good.

Jason repeated the blow job. He hadn't intended to finish the same way three times, but Dick needed the extra encouragement to finish the orgasm and as soon as he felt the smallest sign of precum on his tongue he stopped and said, "Come."

Dick spilled immediately, back arched, trying to force everything he had into the weak, nearly empty orgasm. It wasn't much, but it was something. Jason wiped the bit off with his fingers and pressed it to Dick's lips. Dick obliged, sucking on the taste of his own cum and his own ass.

When Jason's fingers were clean, Jason rolled off of Dick. "Roll over. Knees up."

Jason wasn't sure if it was a gasp or a groan or a breathless, "Yes, Sir," but Dick made some sort of noise as he rolled over so his stretched and irritated ass stuck in the air for Jason to do as he pleased with.

Now was where it was supposed to get interesting. So Jason took a moment to check in.

"How are you doing, Bluebird?"

"Good, Sir," Dick answered quietly.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, sir,"

Jason kept one hand on Dick's leg, gentle strokes on his calf, while he reached into the drawer by the bed for lube and a vibrator. He turned it on before first just so Dick could hear it. The moan in response was filled with exhaustion, but his back dipped down and his legs spread a little wider.

Jason hummed in approval as he slipped it in. "You're so good, Bluebird."

The vibrator went in smoothly. Dick was more than prepared and it was well slicked. But Jason took his time, watching Dick try to clench around it though he'd been overstretched. Jason savored every small hitch in Dick's breath when he pulled the vibrator out, and relished every weary moan when he slid it back in.

This was what Jason had wanted from the beginning. A way to wear Dick down and undo him. And he was only halfway done. Not being pressed for time helped. He was sure Dick still jammed the signal on his vital monitors, but it didn't matter when or if Oracle cracked them since they both knew she knew.

Jason pushed the vibrator up against Dick's prostate and Dick bucked back against it, burying his moan into Jason's pillow. He teased Dick, pulling it out a little just to hear him whine and watch him try to clench back around it and take it in farther. Jason pushed it back in as far as it would go and held it there. Dick pushed back against Jason's hand and panted, each inhale sounding more like a needy gasp and each exhale a satisfied moan, timed to the pulse of the vibrator.

Jason ran a hand down Dick's thigh, caressing the muscle gently, then slipped his hand up between Dick's legs, taking Dick's twitching but ultimately limp cock and balls into his hand. He pressed a gentle kiss to the small of Dick's back. "Come for me, Bluebird."

This time the hitch was desperate. Dick bucked and tightened his hands into the pillow. "I can't."

"I didn't ask. Come."

Dick shook his head. "I really can't."

"I'm going to have to punish you if you can't follow simple orders."

A tremor ran through Dick's vulnerable body. "Please, Jay--Sir, there isn't anything--"

But Dick groaned in defeat when he realized his mistake and pressed his face against the pillow.

Jason, however, was smiling. Because this was all according to plan.

"You had two simple rules tonight. I've been patient. Let you come when you needed it and never once held you back. You're not giving me much of a choice."

"Stand up," Jason ordered.

Dick was slow, stiff has he slid off the bed and to his feet. He moved awkwardly with the vibrator still buzzing. Jason tried to gauge his emotions by his face but it was harder than he'd expected. Dick was clearly anxious and exhausted but those two things were hiding everything else.

"Grab the edge of the bed," Jason motioned to where he wanted him, "and spread your legs."

Dick did as he was told, and Jason took a black ribbon and tied it around Dick's hands, securing him to the foot of the bed. But it was more for show than anything else. It was nothing Dick couldn't escape if he wanted to.

"Don't leave," Dick whispered desperately.

Jason, a little surprised by the request gently ran his hand through Dick's hair. "I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do anything that you can't handle. And if I do, promise you'll use your safe word."

"Yes, Sir."

Jason squeezed the back of Dick's neck in a comforting gesture rather than a threatening one.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm just grabbing something from under the bed okay?"

"Yes, Sir."

He emerged with a small wooden cork and showed it to Dick. "This is optional. So you don't bite your tongue. It's not a gag and you can spit it out whenever you like."

Dick hesitated. "How painful is what you're doing?"

It was a small thing, and Jason wasn't sure Dick was even faintly aware of it. But Dick said "you" instead of "we" and that didn't sit well with Jason. He didn't like this being thought of as him doing something to Dick. It was something they were doing together.

Then again, Dick seemed pretty set on keeping these one-week deals that had no effect on them elsewhere and Jason was so quickly wishing they could give up everything else to do this forever. For Dick this was weekly therapy. For Jason this was... He didn't think there was a word for it. Or maybe there was but it was too intimate for him to ever consider. 

"Nothing like that," Jason answered with a small breath that was faintly defeated and tossed the cork aside.

He stood back up and gently rested a hand on the curve of Dick’s ass. “How many times have you disobeyed me tonight?”

“One.”

Jason clicked his tongue and smacked his hand against the right cheek. “One what?”

“One, Sir,” Dick choked out.

“And this is for being incorrect.” And he brought his hand down again in the exact same place as before.

Dick gasped and his hands tightened around the bed frame. 

“How many times have you disobeyed me tonight?” Jason repeated.

“Two?”

Jason brought his hand down on the right cheek.

“Two, Sir,” Dick gasped quickly, and Jason repeated the blow.

“I think you’re a glutton for punishment, Bluebird. How many times have you disobeyed me tonight?”

“Three, sir.”

Jason smacked the palm of his hand against the left cheek and Dick keened forward. 

“Please, Jay, I don’t know--”

Jason brought his hand down harder this time. He could see the vibrator shift inside Dick and Dick yelped--a mix of surprise, pleasure, and pain. His knees quivered and he pressed his forehead to the frame of the bed.

Jason rubbed the red, tender cheek with his middle finger. “I’m going to make this easy for you.” He ran his hand to the curve of Dick’s ass, then in-between his cheeks. He nudged the vibrator until Dick whined and arched his back, pushing back on Jason’s hand. “How many times have you failed to properly address me?”

There was a pause. Jason continued nudging the vibrator and Dick whimpered. Finally he answered, “Six, Sir.”

Jason squeezed his ass around the vibrator and listened to Dick moan and rut back but there was no way to take the vibrator in farther. “Good job. And how many times have you failed to comply with a direct order?”

“One, Sir.”

“So I’ll ask you one more time. How many times have you disobeyed me?”

“Seven, Sir.”

“Good boy.” Jason pinched the tender spot on Dick’s left cheek. “You’ve already served three punishments for incorrectly addressing me. How many more do you have left?”

“Four, Sir.”  
Jason delivered three sharp smacks to the left side of Dick’s ass, and one to the right. He slipped his finger between his cheeks again and nudged the vibrator. With his spare hand he squeezed the base of Dick’s cock, which was just barely coming back to life.

“Come,” he said as he pushed the vibrator in with his middle finger.

Dick only shook his head and whimpered.

Jason brought his hand down on Dick’s left cheek in the same red spot. Dick whined in desperation.

“We’ll do this until you do as I ask. Now, come.”

But Dick did not, and Jason spanked him again. The vibrator shifted and Dick whimpered with the pleasure and pain. Jason ordered him to come again, but Dick still wasn’t ready, and he got another spanking for it.

Jason mentally counted ten spanks before Dick was hard enough to come on Jason’s eleventh command. So that made a total of seventeen, and Dick’s left cheek was a bright red and his legs were shaking.

Jason massaged the sore muscle and planted a kiss on the center of Dick’s back.

“You’re so wonderful, Bluebird. I wish you could see how good a bruise looks on your perfect ass.”

Dick only moaned back between pants for air. There was a hitch in his breath as Jason pushed on the vibrator again.

“You were so good, tell me what you want. What do you want, right now?”

Dick twisted his head around to look at Jason. This was the Dick that Jason had been dying to see. Red-faced, sweat-covered, voice raspy and ears red. Hungry and worn all at once.

“I want you to fuck me, Sir.”

Jason felt his stomach flip with both excitement and nerves. It wasn’t like he needed any trouble getting it up. At this point, he was actually very tight in his pants, but he’d been ignoring his needs for the sake of tearing Dick down. But he wasn’t sure he was ready for this just yet. Then again, he’d gotten himself into this situation. And he’d gotten out of worse situations.

Jason reached over and pulled the ribbon from Dick’s wrists. “How badly do you want me to fuck you?”

“Please--Sir.” There was a hesitation and Jason was sure it was because “Jay” was still on the tip of Dick’s tongue. He tightened his hand in Dick’s hair and pulled him upright.

“How badly do you want me to fuck you?” he repeated.

“I want you to spread me farther than I can stretch and pound me until I bleed. Sir.”

There was a brokenness in Dick’s voice that made Jay nervous. But it also made him want to give Dick the world. If Dick had asked for the moon in that tone, Jason would’ve stolen the Batplane and gone to get the moon without question. This was only a slightly more difficult task.

Jason bent Dick back over the edge of the bed, this time pressing his face into the mattress. With his free hand, he unbuttoned his pants. The front of them was nearly soaked with precum. Or maybe Jason had already orgasmed once. He’d been far more attentive to Dick than himself.

He rubbed his cock against the insides of Dick’s thighs and watched Dick squirm, He bucked his ass back and Jason twisted his hand in Dick’s hair. Dick went still and braced his hands against the mattress.

Jason reached in for the vibrator.

“Wait--Leave it in. Sir. Please.”

Jason hesitated. “You’re sure?”

“Yes, sir.”

He’d already over-stretched Dick for the purposes of the evening, but he used two slick fingers for a bit of extra prep. Dick moaned, but remained obediently still.

Jason slicked himself and condom then carefully pushed his cock against Dick’s entrance. He went in slow, testing against the vibrator. Which, he couldn’t deny, felt kind of good. But the thrusting was going to be a little awkward.

He went into the hilt and tested a small movement of his hips. Dick’s back rolled with the pleasure.

Jason timed his thrusts with the vibrator, slamming his hips into Dick’s ass and Dick nearly screamed in pleasure. It was more than Jason could’ve asked for. By the time Jason was getting ready to come, Dick was begging to come.

“Please, Sir. Please--let me come.”

Jason pulled out before he could finish off and removed the vibrator as well. Dick whined desperately and his ass twitched at the emptiness.

“Please, Sir. Please.”

Jason turned Dick onto his back and crawled on top of him. “You can come when you suck me off and swallow.”

Dick was scrambling for Jason’s cock. He pulled back the condom with his teeth. Jason curled his hand in his hair and scratched gently as encouragement. Dick took Jason all the way to the back of his throat and rammed Jason’s head against the inside of his mouth, deep as he could. Jason watched Dick’s abs convulse with the gag reflex, but Dick ignored it and continued thrusting while Jason rewarded him by pushing back. He came only moments later and Dick sputtered, but was careful to take in every last drop and then immediately came himself.

They were both panting when they were done and Jason pulled Dick all the way up onto the bed. He laid down beside him with a protective arm over Dick’s chest.

“You were wonderful, Bluebird,” Jason whispered, and nuzzled his nose into Dick’s neck.

Dick didn’t answer back, but put his hand on top of Jason’s and locked their fingers together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put the notes at the end so you guys could read the chapter unfiltered. I hope you enjoyed it and it was worth the lengthy wait.
> 
> I'm going to be real slow with this fic. Like hella slow. It's been a really weird six months for me and relationships and sexuality and... arg. I've always been asexual, but I've never really had a problem writing fic? But then recently stuff has been happening to push my romantic life around and it's messing with my fic writing and blahhh. But if you notice I have very cold doms its because I struggle with positive sexuality in weird ways because I don't really have anything to compare to personally.
> 
> That's all way more personal than I wanted to get on this profile but the point is! This fic and all the sex scenes are gonna be slow coming. But my lack of ability to write sex scenes has forced me to develop actual plot so hopefully we can look forward to those...


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